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Retaliation Is Not Speaking The Truth In Love

 

 

 

Ephesians 4:1-16  Unity of the Spirit

So I, the prisoner for the Lord, appeal to you to live a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called [that is, to live a life that exhibits godly character, moral courage, personal integrity, and mature behavior—a life that expresses gratitude to God for your salvation], with all humility [forsaking self-righteousness], and gentleness [maintaining self-control], with patience, bearing with one another [a]in [unselfish] love. Make every effort to keep the oneness of the Spirit in the bond of peace [each individual working together to make the whole successful]. There is one body [of believers] and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when called [to salvation]— one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of us all who is [sovereign] over all and [working] through all and [living] in all.

Yet grace [God’s undeserved favor] was given to each one of us [not indiscriminately, but in different ways] in proportion to the measure of Christ’s [rich and abundant] gift. Therefore it says,

“When He ascended on high,
He led captivity captive,
And He bestowed gifts on men.”

(Now this expression, “He ascended,” what does it mean except that He also had previously descended [from the heights of heaven] into the lower parts of the earth? 10 He who descended is the very same as He who also has ascended high above all the heavens, that He [His presence] might fill all things [that is, the whole universe])11 And [His gifts to the church were varied and] He Himself appointed some as apostles [special messengers, representatives], some as prophets [who speak a new message from God to the people], some as evangelists [who spread the good news of salvation], and some as pastors and teachers [to shepherd and guide and instruct], 12 [and He did this] to fully equip and perfect the saints (God’s people) for works of service, to build up the body of Christ [the church]; 13 until we all reach oneness in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God, [growing spiritually] to become a mature believer, reaching to the measure of the fullness of Christ [manifesting His spiritual completeness and exercising our spiritual gifts in unity]. 14 So that we are no longer children [spiritually immature], tossed back and forth [like ships on a stormy sea] and carried about by every wind of [shifting] doctrine, by the cunning and trickery of [unscrupulous] men, by the deceitful scheming of people ready to do anything [for personal profit]. 15 But speaking the truth in love [in all things—both our speech and our lives expressing His truth], let us grow up in all things into Him [following His example] who is the Head—Christ. 16 From Him the whole body [the church, in all its various parts], joined and knitted firmly together by what every joint supplies, when each part is working properly, causes the body to grow and mature, building itself up [b]in [unselfish] love. (The Amplified Bible. Bible Gateway, biblegateway.com, Accessed October 23, 2021).

On many occasions, I have heard Ephesians 4:15 quoted incorrectly to tell people off. Nowhere in this text am I receiving a message that anyone using the fivefold ministry gifts or layman is to throw stones from the pulpit, pew, community, or in our homes for the sake of speaking the truth in love. Reading the scripture above, I would say that these tactics are not showing love at all. It leads me to believe that while we are assisting others in their spiritual maturity, we also need to make sure we are mature.

 If we are going to use this scripture, let’s consider a few things:

  • When are we speaking the truth in love? Is it when we are disappointed or angry with someone? If so, this is not the truth in love but an opinion that could be spoken from an unclean heart. Which makes this is an attack. So, when our words incite aggression from the receiver it is warranted. We are out of line and have provoked someone to anger. By no means should the truth be watered down or avoided, but if it’s not delivered with the correct motive, with love, and pureness of heart, it will not be effective.

 

  • Where are we speaking the truth in love?  The Bible teaches us if we have a problem with our brother or sister in Christ, we should approach them directly. We can’t talk behind their backs and allow the rumor mill to tell them we are going to approach them before it happens. It’s already a conversation headed in the wrong direction. When speaking the truth in love a private conversation in a no confrontational environment is essential. Let’s face it; the truth hurts sometimes.  Pain plus spectators bring shame, provoke pride, and can lead to an immature response.

 

  • How are we speaking the truth in love? Delivery is the key. We should ask the Holy Spirit to take the lead. Allowing the Holy Spirit to prepare both hearts, a meeting place, and the words to speak during the conversation. We are human and emotional, but the Holy Spirit can and will set the pace for the entire meeting.

 

  • Why are we speaking the truth in love? The reason for speaking the truth in love is to mature our brother or sister. Because we love and want to see them receive all that God has for them on Earth. Correction is not bad. The Bible teaches us that a wise person will receive correction, only fools will not. 

Speaking the truth in love should be carried out in the spirit of love. We must do so with a clean heart, in the right environment, guided by the Holy Spirit, and for the maturing of our brothers and sisters in Christ. As mature Christians united by the authority, love, and guidance of God we can accomplish the business of kingdom building.

 

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